I Am Not A Writer

You really shouldn't screw with a working formula. Example: I have not worn pants without superheroes on them in 37 hours. More than you needed to know? Maybe. The point is, 37 hours since I abandoned trivial notions of modesty, I am 20 pages into a brand new project. I am productive because I am not a writer. I cannot make this clear enough. I have not, nor have I ever accepted money or professionally put words onto a page at another's behest. There's no deadline, no one to blow off or placate with a few quickly jotted chapters, and no one to censor my jokes. This means writing, as I see it, is another way to kill time. It also means that I have lots of self-deluding to do as my projects become structured and organized; a two line exchange between two faceless characters has quickly become a six-episode structure with an arcing narrative detailing the dualistic nature of depression and humorous creativity. It's sordid. Being hopelessly sarcastic, I can't help but point out the idiotic contradiction of an apathetic non-writer drifting down the path of structure, narrative and clothes. So I'll knock it here. Tear it apart. Make fun of my idiosyncratic style, my 4 am idea sessions and my refusal to acknowledge my own strengths and weaknesses. I'll also detail the process of being a low-budgeted creative type, including the inception and eventual execution of a six episode web series. You might enjoy that. I also Twitter. Tweet?